ugh.  Glad I didn’t see that.

This made me laugh.  Although I feel bad for the guy – this picture will hang over him like an electronic albatross for the rest of his life.  That makes him unemployable, and therefore a burden upon all taxpayers.

Luckily I don’t pay US taxes.  Woo-hoo!

I saw Transformers last night.  The girlfriend emitted a heartfelt ‘hurrah’ when I finally went without her, making me the balding, lonely guy in the back of the theater.  But I bear no grudge, as I haven’t seen a romantic comedy in years.  The only movies we can agree to watch together are those in the Harry Potter series, and an occasional art-house film that we attend as a compromise, and both end up hating.  But hating together.

Anyway: Transformers.  As a ‘film’ I can’t really say if it was good or bad.  And it doesn’t really matter, anyway.  I prefer the term ‘spectacle’ when I watch a childhood cartoon, gestated for the simple purpose of selling toys to 80′s kids like me, turned into a sleek 21st century blockbuster. 

Was it a faithful adaptation of the subject matter?  (the proper response to the last sentence is a ‘snicker)  Yes.  Giant robots fought.  They transformed from tanks and airplanes and trucks into giant spiky metal things with cannons and lasers and gatling guns.  They skated on highways and hid under bridges and blew up military bases.  I just wish some of them had the opportunity to destroy Tokyo.  Sequel, anyone?

But most importantly they fought each other.  Who could resist the awe-inspiring scene of robots shooting, body slamming and generally ripping each other apart? It is a testament to our Hollywood nerds, all those dudes with thier expensive computers surrounded by old Hasbro toys.  God bless America.

The universe is a fascinating place, full of things called quasars and quarks and Hasselhoff.  Physicists and scientists have been searching the skies and equations and various internet websites to try to compile a mystical theory of everything, an equation approaching omniscence. 

 And then there are these guys:

Jessica Alba, the film actress, has the ultimate sexy strut, according to a team of Cambridge mathematicians.

The academics found that it is the ratio between hips and waist that puts the sway into a woman’s walk – and the nearer that ratio is to 0.7, the better.

This ratio provides the body with the right torso strength to produce a more angular swing and bounce to the hips during the walking motion.

I can’t blame these guys.  I’d rather spend all day staring at the posterior of attractive women, trying to judge which is the most spectacular.  It’s certainly more interesting than trying to figure out why the universe doesn’t weigh enough.

I simply object to these guys being called ‘mathematicians’ and ‘academics’.  Let’s call them what they really are: some dudes, some beer, youTube, and unemployment.